motherhood

i sometimes wish i were more articulate than i am about the things that matter the very most to me.  some people have that gift in its most polished form.  yesterday i learned that melissa beck has that gift in abundance.  she stood to bear her testimony - two weeks after giving birth to her 4th son.  she bore a powerful testimony of the blessing of being a mother.  i wish i knew how to say the things she said - because i sure feel the things she feels. 

motherhood is the greatest and most powerful influence on earth.  there is nothing i ever wanted more in my life than to be a mother. nothing.  it is the most important thing i do each and every day. i am overwhelmed by the joy it brings me - and the weight i feel in bearing the responsibility that goes with it.  it is my purpose and my fulfillment.

melissa told the young women that they are preparing today for the kind of mother they will one day be by the daily choices they make now, and then i loved when she told them to prepare to love their children the way they were loved, or WISHED they were loved. 

s. michael wilcox once gave a talk where he shared that his father had abandoned his family when he was very young.  years later he was asked to speak in stake conference on fathers.  he just kept thinking that he couldn't do that. there was still too much bitterness in his heart.  he couldn't understand why heavenly father would deny him such a vital blessing - that of having his father present in his life.  the night before he was to speak he was having one of those special moments with his sons.  is was sweet, tender and bonding.  his heart filled to overflowing with love for his boys.  and then the thought came to his mind 'would you rather have been the son with no father, or the father with no sons?' at which point he broke down and wept. 

i can't imagine life without my children. my mother, who left when i was five, surely has had the greater loss in her life. and my life is rich...because i am a mother.